What Does It Mean When A Cat Kisses You?
For humans, sharing kisses is a common sign of affection and intimacy. For cats, however, “kisses” do not mean the same thing as they do to people. Cats have different ways of showing affection than humans. When a cat presses its nose to your mouth or touches you gently with its mouth, it is exhibiting a social bonding behavior, not an expression of love the way humans do (Source: https://www.catster.com/cat-behavior/what-is-a-cat-kiss/).
Cats have scent glands around their mouths and noses. When a cat rubs its mouth against you, called “bunting”, it is leaving pheromones behind. These pheromones mark you as familiar and part of their social group. So a cat “kiss” is actually your cat’s way of scent marking you and claiming you as part of their territory (Source: https://www.eliteveterinarycare.com/blog/cat-kisses-7-ways-cats-show-affection).
Why Do Cats Give Kisses?
Cats give kisses for a few main reasons. First, cat kisses are a way for cats to show trust and affection for their human companions. When a cat feels safe and bonded with you, they may demonstrate their love by gently touching their nose or mouth to your skin. This mimics grooming behavior between cats and indicates the cat sees you as part of their family or social group.
Cat kisses are also a form of scent marking. Cats have scent glands around their mouth, so when they rub their face on you they are depositing their scent. This marks you as “theirs” and combines your scent with theirs, which is calming for cats. So those kitty kisses mean your cat is staking their claim and feeling secure with you.
Finally, some cat kisses stem from basic grooming instincts. Licking and nibbling is how cats keep themselves and each other clean. When a cat licks your hand or face, they are essentially trying to groom you as if you were another cat. This demonstrates their care and affection in the feline world.
In summary, those kitty kisses express bonding, ownership, grooming, and affection from your cat to you. It shows they trust you and see you as part of their family.1
How to Tell If Your Cat Is Kissing You
Cats have various ways of showing affection that may seem like kisses to their human companions. Here are some signs your cat is giving you kitty kisses:
Light nose-to-nose touch – Your cat gently booping their nose against your nose or face is a sweet sign of affection. This cat kiss mimics eskimo kisses that humans share.
Rubbing face on you – When cats rub their faces on you, leaving their scent behind, it signals familiarity, marking you as their territory. Your cat is mixing their scent with yours, a gesture of fondness.
Licking – A few licks on your hand or face is your cat’s way of showing affection through grooming behavior. It’s similar to kisses, but without actual lip contact.
Gentle bites – Love bites or nibbles are also affectionate gestures. If the bite is inhibited and gentle, without applying pressure, your cat is essentially giving you a little kiss or love nip.
So various nose-to-face touches, rubbing, licking and gentle nibbling are your cat’s way of giving you kisses. Recognizing these cat behaviors helps you understand when your pet is feeling loving.
Encouraging Kisses from Your Cat
To encourage kisses from your cat, focus on building a strong bond through playtime and cuddles. Let your cat approach you and sniff you first before going in for a kiss. Give them positive reinforcement with treats or praise when they lick you, to let them know it’s a desired behavior. However, don’t force them to give kisses if they seem uncomfortable. Here are some tips:
Build a bond through play and cuddles. Play with interactive toys like feather wands or laser pointers with your cat daily. When they’re relaxed after playtime, pet them gently and give them chin scratches or belly rubs if they enjoy them. This hands-on play and affection will strengthen your bond.
Let them sniff you first. Cats use scent as their primary way to gather information. When you go in for a kiss, hold your hand or face close and let your cat lean in to sniff you first. This gives them a chance to recognize you and consent to a kiss.
Give them positive reinforcement. When your cat licks your face or hand, reward them with a treat, affection, or happy praise. This reinforces that licking you is a positive behavior. Just be careful not to overly excite them.
Don’t force it. Never restrain your cat or push their face toward yours to force kisses. This will break their trust. Let kissing be an organic show of affection that your cat chooses to give.
What Does It Mean When Your Cat Bites You?
Cats may bite their owners for a variety of reasons. It’s important to understand the context and your cat’s body language to determine if the biting is playful or aggressive. Here are some of the main reasons cats may bite:
Playful Biting: Gentle bites or “love bites” during petting or play are normal for cats. Cats have sensitive skin and may get overstimulated from petting. A gentle nip or bite signals “that’s enough”. As long as your cat is relaxed, with ears up and tail not lashing, playful biting is harmless. Redirect their energy to a toy when this happens.
Overstimulation: Some cats bite from being pet too long or vigorously. Petting releases endorphins that may overexcite some cats. Watch for signs of overstimulation like skin twitching, tail thrashing, and ears back. Stop petting to avoid bites. Offer a toy or treat to redirect your cat’s energy. Limit petting sessions to avoid overstimulation.
Grooming: Cats will gently take your hand or arm in their mouth while purring and making biscuits. This mimics how mother cats groom kittens. Being bitten then licked is a sign of affection. Allow this gentle mouthing unless it becomes too rough.
Fear/Anxiety: An aggressive, painful bite paired with growling, ears back and pupils dilated signals fear. Give your cat space in this situation. Determine the trigger and work on positive conditioning to relieve their anxiety.
While cat bites can be startling, understanding the context and cause can help you address any issues and strengthen your bond.
Cat Kisses Can Spread Germs
While cute and affectionate, cat kisses do come with some risks. Cat saliva carries bacteria that can cause infection in humans if they enter through a bite or scratch. Cats have a natural bacteria called Capnocytophaga in their mouths that helps them digest food, but it can be harmful to humans.
Capnocytophaga is present in up to 74% of healthy cats. While cats’ immune systems have adapted to this bacteria, human immune systems may struggle to fight it off, leading to illness. Capnocytophaga can be transmitted through cat bites, resulting in severe infection of the hand or arm in some cases. People with weakened immune systems are at highest risk of infection.
In addition to Capnocytophaga, cats may carry other bacteria in their mouths that can cause infection when transmitted to humans. To stay safe, gently discourage mouth-to-mouth kisses, especially for immunocompromised individuals. Supervise children around cats and ensure proper handwashing after contact.
While the risks are low for healthy adults, it’s smart to be aware and take precautions. Understanding the potential dangers allows cat owners to safely enjoy affection from their feline friends.
When to Avoid Cat Kisses
While most cat kisses are harmless, there are some situations where it’s best to avoid kissing your cat to reduce the risk of infection:
Open Wounds
If you have any open cuts, sores, or wounds on your face or lips, avoid kissing your cat. Their saliva contains bacteria that could enter the wound and cause infection. Wait until any skin injuries have fully healed before resuming cat kisses.
Around Eyes
A cat’s rough tongue near your eyes could scratch your cornea. Avoid kisses directly on or near your eyes to reduce irritation and possible eye infections. Gently discourage kisses to the eye area.
Eating or Preparing Food
Don’t kiss your cat right before eating or preparing human food. Their saliva could contaminate your food and spread bacteria that cause gastrointestinal illness. Wash your hands and face after kitty kisses before handling food.
Sick Cats
Avoid kissing cats that are ill, even if it’s just a minor cold. Sick kitties have higher levels of contagious bacteria. Wait until they have fully recovered before kissing them again. Consult your vet if your cat has persistent illness.
Signs Your Cat Wants Affection
Cats communicate affection in some subtle, and not so subtle ways. Here are some of the most common signs that your cat is seeking more love and attention from you:
Purring and kneading – When your cat purrs and kneads you with their paws, it shows contentment and affection. The combination of these behaviors indicates your cat is extremely happy and feels safe and secure with you.
Head-butting – Your cat head-butting or nuzzling you is another sign of affection. Cats have scent glands on their heads, face and tails, so when they rub against you they’re marking you with their scent and showing you belong to them.
Rolling over to expose belly – When your cat rolls over to expose their belly it’s a sign they trust you completely. This vulnerable position is an invitation for you to rub their belly. Just beware, it may turn into playful batting when they’ve had enough!
Following you around – If your cat follows you from room to room, it means they want to be near you. This attachment is a sign they feel a close bond with you. Make sure to give them plenty of pets and attention when they seek you out.
For more signs your cat loves you, check out this article from The Spruce Pets: https://www.thesprucepets.com/how-cats-show-love-553978
Respecting Your Cat’s Boundaries
Just like humans, cats have boundaries that should be respected. It’s important not to force interactions with your cat if they seem uncomfortable or resistant. Pay attention to your cat’s body language to understand when they want space.
Some signs your cat is setting a boundary include:
– Swishing or thrashing tail
– Ears folded back
– Hissing or growling
– Dilated pupils
– Scratching or biting
If your cat displays these behaviors, it’s best to give them space and not force contact. Allow your cat to approach you first when they are ready. Never punish or scold a cat for setting boundaries as this will erode trust.
You can help your cat feel safe and comfortable by providing them with their own spaces in your home. Cat trees, high perches, cardboard boxes, and hideaways allow your cat to relax in their own territory. Respect when your cat retreats to these safe zones.
With patience and respect, you can build a stronger bond of trust and affection with your cat. Allowing your cat autonomy over their body and environment shows them you are a friendly companion, not a threat. Understanding feline boundaries is key to a happy, healthy relationship.
For more tips, check out this article on consent and cat body language: https://www.fearfreehappyhomes.com/consent-to-touch-cats-require-it-too/
Frequently Asked Questions
Many cat owners have questions about their cat’s kissing and licking behaviors. Here are some common questions:
Is my cat’s kiss dangerous?
A cat’s kiss can potentially transmit bacteria or viruses to humans, especially if the cat’s mouth is unclean. However, the risk is low for an indoor cat in good health. It’s still wise to avoid letting your cat lick around your mouth, and wash your hands after petting your cat. See your doctor if any signs of infection occur after being “kissed” by your cat.
Why does my cat lick my hair?
Licking hair is a social bonding behavior for cats. The action releases pleasurable endorphins, and allows cats to pick up scents from each other’s fur and hair. When your cat grooms your hair, it’s a sign they feel comfortable with you and see you as family. This behavior is especially common if you have a long-haired cat breed.
How can I get my cat to kiss me more?
To encourage kisses from your cat, establish positive associations with the behavior by petting or treating your cat when they lick you. Place a small amount of tuna juice or other enticing scent on your hand or cheek and let your cat lick it off. Reward calm, gentle licking and discourage over-eager biting or scratching. Also be sure to respect when your cat doesn’t want kisses!