The Secret Emotional Lives of Cats. What Really Hurts Your Furry Friend’s Feelings

Introduction

Cats are often perceived as aloof and indifferent pets who do not experience complex emotions like humans or dogs do. However, research shows that cats are actually capable of experiencing a range of emotions including contentment, anxiety, fear, frustration, anger, affection, and grief. While they may express themselves differently than humans or dogs, cats do have feelings that can be hurt or uplifted by their environment and interactions. Understanding feline emotions can help cat owners build stronger bonds with their pets.

Body Language

Cat body language and behavior are complex, but there are some key signs to understand how your cat is feeling. Cats primarily use their tail, ears, eyes, and posture to communicate their emotional state.

When a cat is feeling content or friendly, its tail will be upright and relaxed, the ears will be forward and alert, and the eyes will be relaxed. A happy, friendly cat may approach with an upright tail, rubbing its head on people or objects.

Signs of an anxious or upset cat include a lowered tail tucked close to the body, flattened ears, dilated pupils, and tense posture. An anxious cat may hide or retreat when approached. Prolonged anxiety can lead to destructive behaviors like aggression or inappropriate elimination outside the litter box.

Frustration is evident when a cat has an intense focus, flattened ears, and a whipping, twitching tail. A frustrated cat may vocalize excessively and engage in behaviors like biting, scratching, or knocking things over to get attention.

Overall, reading your cat’s body language gives great insight into its emotional state. With practice, you can learn your cat’s unique signals and respond appropriately to keep your cat happy and content.

Vocalizations

Cats communicate a lot through vocalizations. Everything from a meow to a growl can convey how a cat is feeling. Understanding what various cat vocalizations mean can help detect when a cat’s feelings may be hurt.

Meows are one of the most common cat vocalizations. They can express anything from greeting and demanding to complaining and announcing (Modern Cat). Yowls are loud, long meows that often express distress, fear, or anger. A cat who suddenly starts yowling could be expressing hurt feelings from something in their environment or interaction.

Growls are low, rumbling vocalizations that signify annoyance, anger, or fear. A cat may growl if their boundaries are crossed by another cat, animal, or person. This communicates the cat feels uncomfortable or hurt by the situation (The Humane Society).

By tuning into the context around various vocalizations, cat owners can better understand when a cat’s feelings may be hurt or identify causes to address.

Environment

Cats are very sensitive to their environment and changes in their surroundings can easily stress them out. One of the most common environmental stressors for cats is an unclean litter box. As scrupulously clean animals, cats hate having to use a messy, dirty litter box. According to PetMD, when the litter box is not cleaned regularly, the cat may start eliminating outside of the box. Hanging waste and smells in and around the litter box are very upsetting for cats.

Another environmental stressor is dirty bedding. Cats like their sleeping areas to be clean and comfortable. According to Hill’s Pet Nutrition, dirty bedding can really bother a cat. They recommend washing cat beds, blankets, and other fabric items your cat likes to lay on regularly to keep their environment clean.

Routine Changes

Cats thrive on routine and can become stressed when their regular schedule is disrupted. Changes to feeding times, play time, sleep patterns, and other daily rituals can upset a cat’s sense of normalcy. According to How A Change In Routine Affects Our Cats, cats like consistency and predictability. When their routine is altered, they may exhibit signs of anxiety like increased vocalizations, changes in appetite, aggression, hiding, and inappropriate urination.

Changes to feeding routines, in particular, can distress cats. Cats expect to be fed at the same times each day. If meal times are shifted, cats may beg for food, meow excessively, or even refuse to eat. Disrupting play time routines can also upset cats. Cats anticipate interactive play at certain times of day. If play time is skipped or delayed, cats may become restless or destructive. Finally, changes to sleep routines, like a new overnight guest or daylight savings time, can disrupt a cat’s circadian rhythms. This can manifest in increased night time activity and daytime lethargy.

To minimize stress, any changes to a cat’s daily routine should be introduced gradually. Make adjustments in small increments over a period of days or weeks to give cats time to adapt. Consistency is key for a cat’s emotional wellbeing.

Punishment

Cats do not respond well to punishment as a form of discipline. Yelling, ignoring, or physically punishing a cat can lead to fear, anxiety, and mistrust in their human companions. Cats interpret yelling as aggressive behavior which makes them feel threatened. Prolonged ignoring teaches a cat that their human is unreliable and unavailable when needed. Physical punishments like swatting or tossing a cat off furniture is ineffective and can cause a cat to become fearful or aggressive in response.

According to an answer on Quora, “Cats do not understand physical punishment as a form of discipline, and it can lead to fear, anxiety, and mistrust.”1 It’s best to refrain from punishing cats and instead use positive reinforcement training and providing proper outlets for natural cat behaviors.

Lack of Affection

There is good evidence that cats enjoy and benefit from physical affection from their owners.https://www.sheknows.com/living/articles/1126908/do-cats-like-affection/ A veterinarian interviewed by She Knows says that “Most cats seek affection as part of the human-animal bond. They demonstrate it in many ways, from rubbing against us, wanting to be petted…” Cats form attachments to their human caregivers and one of the ways those bonds are strengthened is through physical affection like petting, stroking, and cuddling.

Research has shown that, like dogs, cats release oxytocin, the “love hormone,” when interacting positively with their owners. https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/cats-really-do-need-their-humans-even-if-they-don-n1057431 So when an owner stops providing regular physical affection, it can make a cat feel anxious, stressed, or insecure about the bond with their human. Lack of petting and cuddling means missing out on those oxytocin-releasing bonding moments.

Some signs that a cat is missing affection and physical contact include increased meowing, rubbing against legs, nudging hands, and other attention-seeking behaviors. A cat that suddenly stops purring or seems more aloof may also be showing signs of missing regular affection from their owner.

Other Cats

Cats are inherently social creatures that often live in groups called colonies. Within these groups, they establish social hierarchies to maintain order and reduce conflict over resources like food, territory, and mating opportunities (Understanding Feline Social Structure). Fighting and bullying from other cats in the hierarchy can hurt a cat’s feelings and undermine their sense of security.

Cats determine dominance through aggressive interactions like staring, swatting, chasing, and fighting. The outcomes of these encounters establish each cat’s place in the hierarchy. A cat who repeatedly loses these contests may become fearful and withdrawn when around other cats. Being subjected to constant threats and attacks from higher-ranked cats creates chronic social stress that can harm a cat’s emotional wellbeing (The Social Structure of Cat Life).

Even in a stable multi-cat home, bullying can occur if a dominant cat asserts their rank through aggression. Signs of bullying include one cat constantly chasing, cornering, or swatting another whenever they encounter each other. To avoid hurt feelings, cat owners should monitor group dynamics for bullying and use techniques like pheromone diffusers to ease tensions.

Loss

Cats can experience grief and mourning when they lose a companion cat or a beloved human family member. According to Blue Cross, cats may show signs of grief including appetite loss, crying/meowing, and searching for the lost companion 1. The loss of a companion cat, whether through death or re-homing, can be very difficult for cats. Cats form close social bonds and routines with housemates, so this disruption can cause stress and depressive behaviors. VCA Hospitals notes that cats may stop eating, seem depressed, or excessively vocalize or search the house after losing a feline companion 2. Maintaining normal routines and providing extra affection can help grieving cats adjust.

When a beloved human family member dies or a cat’s owner re-homes them, cats also undergo behavioral changes like reduced appetite, increased vocalizations, and searching the house for the missing person. According to Hill’s Pet Nutrition, cats notice the absence of a family member and can mourn that loss for weeks or months 3. Providing stability through routines and showing extra affection helps cats through the mourning process. Adjusting to a new home also causes substantial stress for re-homed cats. Maintaining consistent schedules, nutrition, and care can ease the transition.

Conclusion

In summary, there are many things that can hurt a cat’s feelings or cause them distress. Cats communicate through body language, vocalizations, and behavior patterns. Subtle changes like ears back, dilated pupils, hiding, changes in routine, or lack of affection can indicate your cat is unhappy. The best way to avoid hurting your cat’s feelings is to provide a stable home environment with positive interactions. Give your cat plenty of playtime, affection, treats, scratching posts, high perches, and their own safe spaces. Understand their unique personality and bonding style. With proper care and attention to their needs, you can build a strong bond of trust and avoid inadvertently distressing your feline companion.

To recap, key tips for keeping your cat happy and avoiding hurt feelings include:

  • Pay attention to their subtle body language and vocal cues.
  • Maintain consistent routines and minimize disruptions.
  • Give them outlets for natural behaviors like scratching, perching, hunting play.
  • Provide affection and quality one-on-one time.
  • Introduce changes gradually and positively reinforce good behavior.
  • Give them safe spaces and territory.
  • Consult a vet if behavioral problems persist.
Scroll to Top