Introduction
The bond between cats and humans can be incredibly special. Unlike some pets that may show affection to everyone, cats are often much more selective when it comes to choosing their preferred person. A cat’s loyalty cannot be bought or forced – rather, it is something that is earned over time. When a cat does pick someone as their trusted companion, it is a meaningful commitment and a sign that they feel safe and cared for (Catster). This brings up an intriguing question for cat owners – why did my cat choose me?
Cats Have Unique Personalities
Similar to humans, every cat has its own distinct personality and preferences. Research has identified common cat personality traits such as dominance, impulsiveness, neuroticism, extraversion, and tolerance. Exactly like humans, some cats are outgoing while others are shy. Some are feisty while others are mellow. Much of a cat’s personality is determined by genetics, though their early experiences and environment also play a role.
Cats tend to be more independent than dogs. While dogs have been bred over centuries to work together with humans, cats have largely retained their solitary, independent nature. Most cats do not crave constant companionship or affection to the same degree as dogs. They are content to spend time alone, provided their basic needs are met. Cats form attachments to their human caretakers, but they do not rely on people to fulfill their social needs to the same extent as dogs.
Cats Show Affection Differently
Cats express affection in more subtle ways than dogs. While dogs are very demonstrative in showing affection, cats show love through their behaviors and body language. For example, cats may show affection by purring, head butting, bringing gifts, and spending time with their owners (Source).
Purring is one of the most recognizable ways cats show contentment and affection. Cats often purr when being petted or sitting on their owner’s lap. The soothing sound signifies the cat is happy, comfortable, and feels safe. Purring may also be a way for cats to self-soothe or even promote healing (Source).
Head butting or bunting is another common feline sign of affection. When cats gently bump their heads on people or objects, they are depositing pheromones from glands on their lips and face. This helps them mark their territory and covers the person or object with a familiar, friendly scent. Cats often head butt their owners to show love and trust (Source).
Bringing gifts, like dead mice or birds, may seem distasteful to humans but it’s actually a cat’s way of providing food to a loved one. This instinct comes from a cat’s natural desire to teach younger cats how to hunt. When they leave prey on a doorstep, it shows they consider their owner family and want to share resources (Source).
While cats are often perceived as aloof, they do build strong bonds with their owners in their own unique way. Paying attention to subtle signs of affection allows cat owners to understand how much their cat truly cares.
You Have the Right Energy
Cats are incredibly perceptive creatures and they can pick up on the subtle energy and emotions of humans. Research has shown that cats are highly sensitive to the moods of their owners and respond with changes in their own behavior (Source). This acute sensitivity allows cats to detect the energy of humans they encounter and likely influences which people they choose to bond with.
Compared to dogs, cats seem to prefer calmer, more gentle human energy. They tend to avoid chaotic or angry people. One theory is that cats are attracted to relaxed, consistent energy because it makes them feel safe and secure. If you are a tranquil person with a soothing presence, a cat is more likely to feel comfortable choosing you. Cats want to bond with humans whose energy is in sync with their own mellow temperaments. So if a cat seems to have taken a liking to you, it may be picking up on your comforting, peaceful energy.
You Smell Right
Cats rely heavily on their sense of smell to gather information about their environment. They have a powerful olfactory system and the scent receptors in their nose and mouth allow them to pick up on smells undetectable to humans. Cats use scent to evaluate humans and other animals. According to Great Pet Care, cats have over 200 million scent receptors compared to only 5 million in humans.
Your natural scent may be pleasing and attractive to cats. They have a vomeronasal organ that detects pheromones which provide information about your health, mood, and identity. A cat may be fond of your natural pheromones and find your scent comforting. Cats also have scent glands on their face, tail, and paws that they use to mark territory. When a cat rubs against you, they are leaving their scent on you as an identifying marker. This “scent marking” behavior shows that the cat feels a sense of ownership and acceptance of you.
You Provide a Secure Environment
Cats desire safety and security. They like having their own territory where they feel in control. As their owner, you can make your home feel like a secure base camp for your cat. Predictability is key – having a steady routine and familiar surroundings will help your cat feel comfortable and relaxed. Try to keep their food, water, litter box, scratching posts, and sleeping areas in the same spots consistently. Cats also feel more secure when they have hiding places and high perches to observe their domain. Providing a cat tree, cardboard boxes, and covered beds allows them to retreat when needed. Keeping noise and chaos to a minimum is also important. Your cat will feel safer in a calm, quiet home without loud sounds or unexpected visitors. Make sure your cat is microchipped and wears a collar with ID so they can find their way back if they do wander outside their territory. With a stable, stress-free environment and all their necessities provided, your cat will feel right at home under your care.
You Respect Their Needs
Cats are independent creatures that need their own space. Unlike dogs, cats do not constantly crave attention and stimulation. In fact, too much petting or forced interaction can stress them out. Cats show you affection on their own terms. As a cat owner, it’s important to respect your cat’s boundaries and allow them autonomy. Give them places to perch up high and hide when they need alone time. Cats feel most secure when they have ownership over their environment. Also, keep their food, water, litter box, scratching posts, and toys in a quiet area of the home. According to Self magazine, a stressful and loud home environment can cause anxiety and behavior issues in cats.
I give my cat space when she seeks solitude under the bed or in her cat tower. I let her approach me when she’s ready for pets and playtime. Providing a calming, predictable routine and respecting her needs for autonomy has allowed us to form a close bond built on trust. My cat chose me because I understand her independent nature and give her the freedom she desires.
You Have a Connection
Some cats and humans form an exceptional bond. Your cat may show signs that the two of you have formed a deep connection in subtle ways. For example, your cat may wait by the door when you are gone or meow excitedly and run to greet you when you come home. According to one article, “Cats can become strongly attached or bonded with their human companions” (source). Your cat choosing to snuggle in your lap while ignoring other family members can be a sign you share a special bond. If your cat follows you from room to room or always wants to sleep next to you, it likely sees you as its primary attachment figure. Making eye contact, nudging your hand to be pet, and purring frequently in your presence are other potential signs of a strong connection between you and your feline friend.
Cats Adopt You
Cats are known for being aloof and independent, but that doesn’t mean they don’t form close bonds with their human companions. In fact, it’s often the cat who chooses their owner, not the other way around. Stray and feral cats who come to rely on a person for food and shelter may in time adopt that person into their family and home. According to the Eastshore Veterinary Clinic, “They tend to select a family as their own who offered food and shelter according to their taste” (Eastshorevet.com).
There are several signs that a stray cat has claimed you as their new human:
- They begin waiting near your home for you to appear.
- They rub against your legs and brush up against you.
- They lead you to their kittens if they have a litter.
- They meow insistently to get your attention.
- They gift you “presents” like dead mice or birds.
If a stray cat is exhibiting these behaviors, they are essentially letting you know they have chosen you to be their new caretaker. It’s a big responsibility to take in a stray cat, but also an honor when an independent feline decides to adopt you and make you part of their family.
Concluding Thoughts
In conclusion, there are many reasons why a cat may choose to bond with a particular person. Cats are complex creatures with unique personalities, needs, and instincts. When a cat adopts you, it’s a special thing that can’t be forced. Rather, it happens organically when the human and the cat are well-suited for one another.
Some of the main reasons a cat may choose someone include that person having the right energy, scent, environment, and respect for the cat’s needs. Cats often choose people who let them have their independence, while also providing a sense of security and affection. Additionally, mysterious forces seem to draw some humans and cats together in a deep, mutual connection.
The bond between a cat and their chosen human companion is a precious relationship built on trust. While we may not always understand why a cat picks who they do, we can find meaning in the fact that these intuitive creatures have decided we’re the right fit for them. Cherish the cats that have let you into their lives.