Introduction
It is a common belief that cats tend to bond strongly with only one person in a household. While cats are often considered aloof and independent creatures, they are capable of forming deep attachments and showing loyalty to their owners, especially to those they feel closest to. There are several reasons why cats may gravitate to and form a tighter bond with one particular person over others in a home. Some of the key factors relate to a cat’s territorial nature, their preference for security and familiarity, personality matches, scent cues, food rewards, and lack of perceived threats.
Territorial Nature
Cats are notoriously territorial animals who often view their home and surrounding area as their own territory that they need to protect and defend (1). In the wild, a cat will establish a home base area where it sleeps and eats, as well as a larger home range where it hunts and mates (2). Domestic cats exhibit similar territorial behaviors, though their territories are typically smaller and centered around the home.
When a cat bonds with a particular person, it helps establish routines and reinforces that human as a “safe” part of the cat’s territory (3). The cat feels secure with that person and trusts them within their space. Forming a bond can reduce territorial aggression and anxieties in some cats as they view their chosen human as part of their familiar environment, not an intruder.
Security and Trust
Cats tend to bond most strongly with the person they feel safest and most secure with. This is often the person who regularly feeds them, cares for their needs, and has pleasant interactions with them [1]. By providing food, shelter, and affection, that person becomes associated with security in the cat’s mind.
Research shows that like dogs, cats can form secure attachments to their owners that provide comfort in unfamiliar situations [2]. The person a cat bonds with becomes a source of safety and stability.
This bond forms because the cat trusts that person to take care of their needs. By rewarding the cat with feeding, petting, play time, and other positive caregiving behaviors, that person establishes trust and reassurance.
Scent and Familiarity
Cats identify people by scent and familiar routines. They have an excellent sense of smell and use it to recognize their preferred humans. When cats rub against people or objects, they are depositing pheromones that mark it with their scent. This creates familiarity and acts as a way for cats to identify those they feel bonded with (Cat Behavior Associates, 2013). The scents people carry also provide cats with feelings of security and comfort when their preferred humans are away (AVSAB, 2022).
The more time spent together through daily routines like feeding, play, and bonding, the stronger the cat’s bond will become with a particular person. Cats use their excellent sense of smell to recognize their preferred humans’ scent and associate it with comfort and rewards like food and affection. This creates a familiarity that helps cats identify the people they feel most bonded with.
Personality Match
Cats tend to bond most strongly with personalities that mesh well with theirs [1]. For example, shy and timid cats often bond more closely with quieter, gentle humans. On the other hand, energetic and playful cats may prefer humans who are more active and engaging.
Research shows that cat owners are often drawn to feline personalities that mirror their own [2]. So a highly social human may be more likely to adopt and bond with a similarly social and outgoing cat. And a human who prefers solitary activities may gravitate toward an independent cat.
When bringing a new cat into a home with an existing cat, it can be helpful to match their personalities and dispositions. Pairing cats with similar preferences for interaction, play style, and activity levels can increase the chances that they will get along and bond [3].
Overall, cats tend to form the strongest connections and relationships with humans who respect their individual personalities and preferences. Understanding your cat’s unique temperament and matching their needs is key for a close human-feline bond.
Food Rewards
Food is a powerful motivator for cats bonding with a particular person. As obligate carnivores, cats are highly motivated by food and associate the person who regularly feeds them with this essential resource. According to How Do Cats Choose Their Person? 5 Interesting Factors, cats tend to become more attached and affectionate with the person who feeds them on a consistent basis. The person responsible for feeding times and doling out tasty treats often becomes the cat’s favorite human. This is because the cat sees that person as a reliable source of food. By being the sole provider of meals and food-related rewards, that person reinforces a strong bond with the cat.
Lack of Threat
Cats tend to bond with humans they do not perceive as threatening. This is due to their natural wariness as prey animals. According to research from Rover, cats may see children and aggressive people as unpredictable and intimidating. Loud voices and sudden movements can trigger a cat’s prey drive. Therefore, cats often avoid bonding with humans exhibiting these behaviors.
Cats prefer calm, predictable humans who do not make them feel unsafe. They bond with gentle people who move slowly, speak softly, and allow the cat to approach on their own terms. With time and positive reinforcement, some cats may eventually warm up to initially threatening humans. But in general, reducing unpredictable stimuli is key to bonding with these sensitive creatures. A cat who feels secure is more likely to form a close connection.
Solo vs Multi-cat Households
In single cat homes, the cat is able to form a tight bond with the humans in the household without competition for affection from other felines. According to the Blue Cross, cats are naturally solitary animals and often do not require companionship from other cats to be content. The exclusive relationship a cat shares with a person in a single cat home can lead to stronger bonding and attachment.
With multiple cats in a household, the bonding and attachment between individual cats and humans can become diluted. Each cat divides its attention and affection between the other cats and the human members of the household. As reported by VCA Hospitals, while some cats thrive in multi-cat homes, the bonding may not be as intense as in a single cat household where they receive undivided human companionship and attention.
So for cats that prefer being solitary or are aloof with other felines, being the only cat in a home can strengthen the human-animal bond due to focused one-on-one interaction and care.1
Gender Preferences
Some studies show that female cats tend to bond more closely with men, while male cats tend to bond more closely with women. For example, one study found that female cats spent more time with men than with women during behavioral tests. The researchers suggested this may be because men’s deeper voices, larger size, and more coarse features resemble kittens’ fathers.
However, more research is still needed in this area. Some studies have found conflicting results, or have suggested personality match and scent play bigger roles. For example, a 2011 study found female cats bonded more closely with women. But the sample size was small.
While gender preferences may exist, it seems individual personality, familiarity, and experiences lead cats to bond closely with particular family members regardless of gender. More large-scale studies are needed to fully understand if male and female cats consistently prefer different human genders.
Strengthening the Bond
There are several ways for humans to help strengthen their bond with their cat.
Feeding time is an excellent opportunity to bond. Let your cat approach you for meals rather than leaving food out all the time. Hand feed them treats and make mealtimes an interactive experience. This will help build trust and familiarity (source).
Dedicate playtime each day to engage your cat with interactive toys like feather wands and laser pointers. Play allows for positive interactions and helps fulfill their predatory instincts. End each play session by giving your cat a treat (source).
Respect your cat’s space and allow them to approach you first before petting. Avoid overstimulating your cat and pay attention to their body language. Let them retreat if they seem uncomfortable. This builds trust and shows you respect their boundaries (source).